Frank Salvatore
Health and Lifestyle

One Couple, Two Disorders

April 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

It is a common problem that people tend to try to avoid talking about. However, depression and anxiety can greatly affect the lives of the family members of the people who suffer. Spouses of those who suffer from anxiety often miss out on family birthday parties, get-togethers, and weddings due to their struggle of choosing between their spouse and their friends or family. But, what if both people in the marriage suffer from some sort of anxiety?

While someone who is suffering from anxiety may not forbid their spouse from going to such events, it often comes down to a personal choice in order to avoid feelings of guilt. For example, a woman may make up an excuse to miss out on her best friend’s birthday party because her husband does not want to be around people. Or, she may decline an invitation to a wedding so they do not have to get on a plane.

Having depression and anxiety is likely to even have an effect on the children. Sufferers often do not like to travel due to the necessary airplane ride or the unavoidable crowds of people. It may also be difficult for this person to show that they are happy to their family, as they rarely smile or laugh.

Even if you are able to understand the triggers of a loved one, everyone’s coping styles are different, and it is never quite within reach to heal another person from their anxiety or depression. This is often painful for onlookers, but the truth is that the only possible healing is on the inside of the person who is suffering.

Often, people with anxiety keep their homes as a sacred place to be with only the people and things that they love and trust the most. While they may be up to having some family fun outside of their house in the sun, it is never too comfortable when their home is out of sight, and it is always preferred to stay in a familiar place with familiar people.

This does not mean that people with anxiety are reclusive necessarily, just that they do not leave their familiar surroundings without good reason. It’s that simple.

For some people, being married to someone who has this sense of simplicity is refreshing. There are no games or risks involved and what you see is what you get.

With this life comes along an eternal prescription for antidepressants, but also the comfort of knowing that the easy friendship you have with your spouse works alongside with your antidepressants. There is a sense of security and safety with someone who is predictable and grounded.

People who suffer from depression also have an innate way of being able to lift others up when they are feeling down, partially due to their empathy with the feeling. In turn, they allow only a select few people into their small circle of trust.

It can be affirming and even flattering to know that your presence is accepted by someone who suffers from anxiety. However, sometimes that anxiety is contagious, and it may cause the person who is being leaned upon to suffer quite a bit.

The thing is, different people suffer from different forms of anxiety and therefore seek out various ways to make themselves feel better. While one person may enjoy staying home and away from other people, another may enjoy the chaos of a crowd because it takes their mind off of their everyday stressors. This is where different conditions may battle and where struggles may begin in a relationship where two different forms of anxiety exist.

When one form meets another in a joint and quiet home, without games or risks, people are able to come together and find the common bond of love that far surpasses their individual anxieties.

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Frank Salvatore