Frank Salvatore
Health and Lifestyle

Ambivalence and Breakups

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

When you have broken up with people in the past, did you ever have mixed feelings about the breakup? If so, you are not alone. Many people leave a relationship with ambivalent feelings, whether they were the one to initiate the breakup or not.

Researchers have performed studies on this by asking people who are in a relationship to list the reasons that they wanted to stay in the relationship or leave. Often, people reported wanting to stay in the relationship with their partner because of how much time they have spent in the relationship, family duties, or a surviving hope that the relationship will eventually improve or their partner will change. Most people also said they wanted to stay in the relationship because they felt close to their partner.

Alternatively, for people who decided to break up, most said it was due to frequent fighting or a loss of trust. Almost half of respondents cited deceptiveness or unfaithfulness as the cause of the possible split.

The most noticeable thing about the results of the study was that among the people considering breaking up, the study found that 49% of participants had conflicting feelings about leaving their partner and were therefore at an impasse. This sense of ambivalence was the most strong among people who considered themselves to be codependent.

It is common to have mixed feelings about a breakup. Even though you know that there is no real future in a relationship, there may still be several positive things that people see in their partner and will miss. It is a hard choice to be sure that ending a relationship it is the right thing to do.

Problems will also arise after you make your decision. If you choose to leave, you may feel doubtful and find it hard to move on with your life or start a new relationship. This is why research shows that a breakup is often more difficult on the person who is initiating it. Ambivalence is also an explanation as to why it?s common to get back together after a breakup and then begin a cycle of on-again-off-again.

It is normal to have mixed feelings about the end of a relationship. If this happens, you should try to focus on how your life is going to improve in the future once you are able to move on with your life. Think about how you will replace what you think you have lost in the relationship. Find ways to fill the void with new activities and new friends.

If you don’t know if you should end a relationship or not, think about the sure signs that you need to cut ties. If you are fighting all the time or avoiding each other, it is time to move on. If you have concerns about how your life will look like after your breakup, start some new hobby, or think about how much fun you may have in the future when you begin a new relationship and find happiness elsewhere.

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Frank Salvatore