Frank Salvatore

Tips to Get Other People to Like You

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

Do you know why you like the people you do? Scientists have spent years trying to figure out how people choose their friends. Here are some interesting tips and findings that can help you be more likable to other people and understand some of your current relationships.

1. Mirror the person you’re with

This mirroring strategy involves subtly mimicking the behavior of the person you are with. Try copying your friends’ body language, facial expressions, and gestures to make them feel more comfortable. Researchers have found that this chameleon effect facilitates friendship.

To study this, researchers studied 72 men and women while working on a task with a partner who worked with the researchers. The partner either mimicked the participant’s behavior or did not. Following the interactions, the researchers asked participants how much they liked their partners. As expected, participants liked the partners better that mimicked their behavior.

2. Spend more time with people you want to befriend

People like those who are familiar to them. Furthermore, they are more likely to interact with people that they often see.

3. Give compliments

Even if you are not complimenting the person that you are with, say nice things about other people so the person will see you as being kind and happy. If you describe someone as being genuine and kind, people will associate you with those words. Also, if you speak poorly about other people, you will also be associated with those words.

4. Display positive emotions

If you show positive emotions, the people are you are likely to do the same. Spread your cheer by being happy around other people.

5. Be warm and competent

If you are able to come off to other people as being warm and noncompetitive, people will believe they can trust you. Additionally, if you seem competent, they will be more inclined to respect you.

6. Reveal your flaws

If people think you are a competent person but also see you make a mistake, they will like you more. Revealing to others that you aren’t perfect will allow them to relate to you.

7. Emphasize shared values

People are attracted to those who share the same values as they do. Especially when it comes to controversial topics, like religion and politics, it is good to find a common ground with people around you.

8. Casually touch them

Make a point to touch a person so subtly that it is hardly noticeable. This may involve tapping on someone’s back or brushing their arm, which can make them feel welcome and warm toward you.

9. Smile

Studies have shown that woman looking at other women in photos was liked most when she was smiling, regardless of her body position. Another study has shown that smiling when you meet someone helps to make sure they will remember you later.

10. See the other person how they want to be seen

People want to be seen in a certain way. Everyone seeks confirmations of their views, whether they are positive or negative.

Research suggests that when other people’s beliefs about us as the same as our own, the relationship flows more smoothly. This is because the person feels understood, which is important for intimacy.

11. Tell a secret

To help build a relationship, disclose something about yourself that is personal. Studies show that people who know personal information about someone else feel closer to them. For example, if you talk about your family relationships to other people, they are likely to feel closer to you knowing that you trusted them with that information.

Build up from asking minor questions to questions that are a bit deeper and expose more information about the person. Sharing more intimate information will make you closer to each other.

12. Show that you can be trusted with their secrets

People put a lot of value on trustworthiness and trustingness in their friendships and relationships. These traits are especially vital in ideal friends and employees. Trustworthiness has several components including honesty, loyalty, and dependability, which are the most important parts of a friendship.

13. Show your sense of humor

Research has found that people look for a sense of humor in their friends and romantic partners. It has also been found that using humor when you’re getting to know someone is likely to make the person like you better. Studies have suggested that participating in a funny task can even increase romantic attraction.

14. Let the person talk about themselves

People love to talk about themselves. Allow someone to talk about their lives and their beliefs to you and take the time to actively listen and participate in the conversation. Repeat some of the things that they say so they know that you are listening.

In other words, allowing someone to share a story about their life rather than listening to you talk about yours may give them better memories of your interaction.

15. Be vulnerable

Being emotionally open to someone else is worth the risk. It will let them see that you trust them with your feelings.

16. Act like you like them

If someone thinks that you like them, they tend to like you in return. Even if you do not know someone very well, pretend that you really like them to start establishing that positive relationship.

Research has found that when we expect people to like us, we are nicer to them, which increases the chances they will like us in return.

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Ambivalence and Breakups

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

When you have broken up with people in the past, did you ever have mixed feelings about the breakup? If so, you are not alone. Many people leave a relationship with ambivalent feelings, whether they were the one to initiate the breakup or not.

Researchers have performed studies on this by asking people who are in a relationship to list the reasons that they wanted to stay in the relationship or leave. Often, people reported wanting to stay in the relationship with their partner because of how much time they have spent in the relationship, family duties, or a surviving hope that the relationship will eventually improve or their partner will change. Most people also said they wanted to stay in the relationship because they felt close to their partner.

Alternatively, for people who decided to break up, most said it was due to frequent fighting or a loss of trust. Almost half of respondents cited deceptiveness or unfaithfulness as the cause of the possible split.

The most noticeable thing about the results of the study was that among the people considering breaking up, the study found that 49% of participants had conflicting feelings about leaving their partner and were therefore at an impasse. This sense of ambivalence was the most strong among people who considered themselves to be codependent.

It is common to have mixed feelings about a breakup. Even though you know that there is no real future in a relationship, there may still be several positive things that people see in their partner and will miss. It is a hard choice to be sure that ending a relationship it is the right thing to do.

Problems will also arise after you make your decision. If you choose to leave, you may feel doubtful and find it hard to move on with your life or start a new relationship. This is why research shows that a breakup is often more difficult on the person who is initiating it. Ambivalence is also an explanation as to why it?s common to get back together after a breakup and then begin a cycle of on-again-off-again.

It is normal to have mixed feelings about the end of a relationship. If this happens, you should try to focus on how your life is going to improve in the future once you are able to move on with your life. Think about how you will replace what you think you have lost in the relationship. Find ways to fill the void with new activities and new friends.

If you don’t know if you should end a relationship or not, think about the sure signs that you need to cut ties. If you are fighting all the time or avoiding each other, it is time to move on. If you have concerns about how your life will look like after your breakup, start some new hobby, or think about how much fun you may have in the future when you begin a new relationship and find happiness elsewhere.

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Effects of Loneliness on Physical Health

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

You may think that loneliness only affects your mental state, but it can also lead to other health problems as well. Research actually shows that feeling lonely can increase your blood pressure up to 14 points, and even more as the length of time you are lonely increases. Additionally, your risk for heart disease and dementia increase as well.

Researchers have recently concluded that social isolation may be even more unhealthy than obesity and smoking. Research also shows that the brain-related changes that are associated with feelings of loneliness as soon as 24 hours of isolation have passed.

Negative emotions have an effect on your physical well-being, and loneliness is the same. According to studies, loneliness and social isolation, which are not quite the same thing, are more threatening to public health than obesity and raises your risk of premature death by up to 50%.

Loneliness and social isolation are a bit different from each other because social isolation describes a lack of contact with other people, while loneliness is only the feeling that one has no emotional connections to other people.

So, someone can be around other people and still be lonely, but they will not be socially isolated. According to one poll, around 72% of people reported having felt lonely during their lifetime, and Of these adults, about 31% reported that they feel lonely at least once a week.

Studies have also found that social isolation increases the risk of premature death by 50%. Another study found social isolation, loneliness, and living alone increased the risk of mortality at an early age 29%, 26%, and 32% respectively.

This is similar to the risk of premature death that is associated with physical health problems such as obesity and even smoking. Loneliness plays a role in several chronic health conditions, such as pain, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and depression. Loneliness has even been linked to an increased risk for Alzheimer’s disease, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. Studies also show that lonely people also experience:

  • Stress
  • Insomnia
  • Poor immunity

Epidemic of Loneliness and Social Isolation

Over 42 million Americans over the age of 45 claim to suffer from chronic loneliness, with over 25% of the U.S. population live alone. Here are some possible reasons that loneliness is becoming increasingly common:

  • Long work hours
  • Diminished face-to-face interaction because of social media
  • Travel to and from work
  • Not being around family
  • Choosing not to marry

Loneliness is an epidemic that people can’t see because many people have an online persona that is not actually representative of the person’s real emotions. Patients should know how their emotions have a direct effect on their body. Having direct communication in person is so important for both emotional and mental health. Having meaningful human interactions will make people happier and healthier.

With a growing population of seniors in our society, we need to find solutions for loneliness for individuals and our society. In order to do this, we need to increase social skills training for children, and train doctors to screen patients for social connectedness. Seniors should also prepare for the social implications that accompany retirement because many adults keep their social circles at work.

The Mind-Body Connection

Your mindset can either enhance or undermine your physical and mental health. This is partially due to environmental factors like stress and diet and the expression of your genes that dictates if you are likely to develop specific diseases or age prematurely.

Your epigenome is influenced by both physical and emotional stressors, so, if you are chronically lonely, this negative emotion influences the expression of your genes and can, therefore, impact your risk of developing a specific disease.

Strategies to Address Loneliness

A lot of people suffer from loneliness, but many do not know how to address it. Here are a few suggestions and strategies that can help address loneliness:

1. Join a club

This will help you meet like-minded people. You will be able to have face-to-face contact with people who share your interests and have something in common with you.

2. Learn a new skill

Take a class so you can meet some new people or take up a new skill to start branching out and meeting people who have various hobbies.

3. Create rituals of connection

Start a weekly talk session with your friends or make a meal each week with someone in your family to connect with them.

4. Consider a digital cleanse

If you spend all of your time on social media, you are likely not spending too much time in the presence of other people. Stop having all of your communication through Facebook and call up a friend to get together.

5. Make good use of digital media

Text a friend some encouraging messages if you think they are struggling with loneliness. Offer them some support and help them live a healthier life and make healthy lifestyle changes.

6. Exercise with others

This will help improve your help in several ways. You will be able to get physical activity while also having social interaction.

7. Shop local

If you shop locally, you are likely to run into the same people on a regular basis. Shop at local coffee stores or markets near your house and make friends with the people there.

8. Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to increase your social interactions and develop new relationships.

9. Adopt a companion pet

Owning a pet will provide you with companionship. It will also give you an opportunity to get outside and walk them and run into other pet owners. Studies have shown that owning a pet has benefits to both physical and mental health. Pets can help boost self-esteem, promote communication, help you cope with illness and depression, reduce stress, provide a source of trust.

10. Move and/or change jobs

Think about your current environment and culture and consider if it needs a change. If so, think about where you would rather live or work to make yourself less lonely.

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The Link Between Your Diet and Body Odor

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

Have you ever considered that what you put inside your body can affect how the outside of your body smells? What you eat can have an effect on your body odor and may even affect peoples’ response to your smell. Additionally, your scent can also tell a lot about your health, especially in relation to your underarms.

People sweat for several reasons. Whether it is due to stress, heat, anxiety, exercise, fear, anger or a fever, you will still have the same sweat response. While age and overall health can also impact your sweat, with these other factors, some people naturally sweat more than others. The skin has been studied to measure levels of carotenoids, which are the naturally occurring antioxidant pigments, to gauge a person’s produce intake.

According to the original theory, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables containing potent carotenoids will positively affect your scent. With over 700 types of natural carotenoids, you are likely to have about 10 or 20 different kinds of carotenoids in your bloodstream at any given time.

One particular study included a food frequency survey. It concluded that men typically emit a more pleasant-smelling odor when they eat more fruits and vegetables as opposed to carbohydrates. Their sweat smells were evaluated by females.

In terms of visual attraction, yellower, more carotenoid rich-skin in this study was generally found to be more attractive. While many people think that their diet will only affect their breath, this study showed that it also definitely does affect body odor.

Some people tend to avoid eating onions or garlic because they don’t want their breath to smell. However, body odor is created when our skin’s bacteria metabolize the contents of our sweat glands.

Additionally, the smell of a person’s sweat can convey a person’s level of health and immune fitness, and can even have an impact on someone’s ability to attract a mate. Odor has been known to be an important component of attractiveness for a while, especially for women. Historically, women have been more attracted to the natural scent of men who eat more vegetables than carbohydrates.

Furthermore, men who admitted to enjoying pasta, potatoes, and bread in the study had the strongest and least pleasant-smelling sweat of all, even when compared to a diet high in fat, eggs, meat, and tofu.

Consumption of fat, eggs, meat, and tofu was associated with pleasant-smelling sweat, actually. This was not the first test to have these results.

A 2006 study reported that women prefer the smell of vegetarian men compared to men who ate meat. The male subjects were separated into two groups, one group being meat eaters and the other vegetarian for two weeks. They were told to wear pads in their armpits to absorb their perspiration during the last day of their study. Thirty females who were assisting the study were then asked to assess the sweat samples for their attractiveness, intensity, and masculinity.

A month later, the same men repeated the study but switched their diets. The scientists were able to conclude that red meat consumption decreases the pleasantness of perceived body odor and the premise of the study remained the same when the men’s diets were changed. In the featured study, meat intake did not affect how pleasant the women rated the sweat, although meat eaters were found to have more intense smelling sweat.

Body odor may be seen by strangers as a “psychosocial” stress indicator, which can possibly lead men to make poor assumptions regarding a woman’s emotional state and then make further evaluations, such as judging a woman’s competence.

Forty-four women gave the following sweat samples:

1) Untreated exercise sweat
2) Untreated stress sweat
3) Treated (with a commercial antiperspirant) stress sweat

The results showed that the odors that were obtained from stressed women could negatively influence one’s judgment of their personality when it comes to warmth and competence from other women. A different group of mixed gender evaluators rated the women in the videos while smelling one of the sweat samples.

The women in the videos were rated as being under more stress by both men and women when they were smelling the untreated sweat. For men, the women in the videos appeared to be less confident, trustworthy and competent when smelling untreated sweat. Women’s social judgments were not affected by smelling the pads.

Today, personal hygiene is important and common to keep up with. But a hundred years ago, body odor was normal. Blocking personal body odor first occurred in 1912 when a high school student tried to see if she could promote a liquid antiperspirant that her father created. The doctor made the invention to alleviate sweaty hands, which was an issue when he was trying to do surgery in the heat of summer.

This invention led to deodorant. Body odor wasn’t considered something that should be repressed prior to this, so the response to this product was mixed. However, people figured they would give the deodorant a try, so while sales were not great at first, they quickly rose.

Now, the deodorant industry is booming. With the invention of synthetic fabric, body odor can have an even more intense smell. Polyester fabric has an increased tendency to absorb the smell of sweat compared to cotton T-shirts.

Sweating is a both a natural and beneficial bodily function, and blocking it with antiperspirant is not always healthy. Using an all-natural deodorant with equal amounts of baking soda, coconut oil and organic cornstarch is also effective.

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Endorphin Release and Exercise Intensity

October 1, 2017 by · Leave a Comment 

You may be familiar with a thrill of elation after working out called a “runner’s high”. This comes from your brain and muscles working together after a good workout. This rush of endorphins may come and flood your senses with different degrees of pleasure, making you feel good.

Research has found that doing high-intensity exercise can simulate the feelings you get when you have pride in a job well done, eat hot peppers, and even watch your children learn new things. These experiences can create a strong response in your brain that can impact your entire body.

High-intensity interval training includes any workout that switches between short bursts of activity and slower, fixed periods of less-intense movement or rest. One popular high-intensity interval training exercise is running as fast as you can for 1 minute and then slowing down to walk for 2 minutes. Repeat this sequence five times to effectively burn fat. Endorphins have been referred to as your body’s natural opiate, and they even work to block pain receptors.

Endorphins Depend on Exercise Intensity

Endorphins are neurochemicals that are produced in your brain that act as natural painkillers similar to morphine. They activate opioid receptors to help minimize any pain. Endorphins are peptides that help reduce the perception of pain and trigger euphoric feelings.

Endorphins released during exercise have a positive impact on you physically, mentally, and physiologically. However, new research shows that the intensity of your workout controls your mood elevation and stress reduction.

Studies have been done on the opioid receptors on healthy, active males between the ages of 21 and 36, using positron emission tomography during intense physical exercise. The males’ endorphin release was repeatedly measured over three days in three different ways:

1) After an hour of aerobic moderate-intensity exercise
2) After a HIIT session
3) After resting

The participants’ moods were also measured after their exercise sessions. Professionals have said that if adults are looking to either improve or maintain their physical health, it is important to either engage in at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio activity each week or 75 minutes of high-intensity cardio activity in a week.

Moderate vs Intense Exercise and Endorphins

The results of exercise go well beyond the physical and extend to mood and may even lessen anxiety and depression. However, professionals have not always known if there is a link between endorphin concentrations and one’s mood.In the study of 22 male subjects, in measuring their moods and endorphins, the researchers found that high-intensity interval training led to a rise in the release of endorphins. The team also found that HIIT led to negative feelings in the men, which is also correlated to an increase in endorphin release.

While high exercise intensities release endorphins associated with increased negative feelings, endorphin release may be required to counteract the emotional and physical challenges that exercise produces. However, the negative feelings surrounding HIIT may discourage doing more exercise.

How High-Intensity Exercise Can Help You

The study concluded that the endorphin release caused by exercise may be an important factor in keeping people motivated to continue to exercise and keep a regular routine.
Also, having the knowledge that you may experience a level of euphoria may even be something that drives people who don’t want to exercise to the gym.

When it comes to the benefits of HIIT, consider this: doing only One minute of intense activity within a 10-minute exercise session could be equally as effective as exercising for 45 minutes at only a moderate pace. That means that having 12 minutes of intense exercise will get you more results than several hours of medium-intensity exercise. This will also positively affect your overall health.

HIIT also helps to improve glucose tolerance more than other forms of exercise, can burn up to 15% more calories, triggers the production of HGH, and produces immediate changes in your DNA that could possibly help you live longer. It can also benefit people who have survived colorectal cancer because people do not realize the harmful effects of neglecting exercise.

The truth is, without exercise, one may lower their survival rate if they have received anticancer therapy. Studies have revealed that cancer survivors who engaged in HIIT or any moderate exercise were able to experience improved peak oxygen consumption.

Even if you choose to do an exercise besides HIIT, it will have benefits on your health. This is beneficial when it comes to Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. It also helps to improve your skin, slow down the aging process, aid in disease recovery, and shrink fat cells.

Exercise helps lower your chances of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes in addition to lowering your blood pressure and even preventing depression. Positive changes will be made to your brain to improve your memory and thinking skills while also reducing brain fog.

With these advantages and the benefit of getting happier from the release of endorphins, exercise is an obvious priority to keep in your routine.

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Frank Salvatore